What Happens to the Pain We Hide? 🌙💧🌊🍃🪞🥊🌸✨

Growing up as the oldest, I naturally took on the role of the protector, the giver, the one who always showed up. My parents expected more from me. I was seen as unbreakable, almost like a statue—strong, steady, unmoving. But even statues crack.

Sometimes, our childhood shapes our adult reactions in ways we don’t fully understand. We respond through old wounds. We walk around with unresolved moments, unfinished emotions, and unspoken truths that never really went away—they just went quiet.

I’ve held onto people, habits, and beliefs that no longer served me. Things that no longer poured into me, no longer made me feel alive. And because of that, I hardened. I became what I never wanted to be: the thing I once couldn’t stand to see in others. But even in that hardness, I never lost my spiritual connection.

God and faith were introduced to me young. Christianity was deeply woven into my everyday life. So much so, it began to feel like a theme park ride—full of anticipation, surrounded by people chasing joy, only to find out that the ride ends and you’re left with your own wave to ride. Alone.

That’s what people don’t talk about—the upkeep. The maintenance of peace. The solitude. The shedding of relationships, habits, and even parts of yourself.

For me, religion eventually felt more like a box than a bridge. But I’ve come to understand that my relationship with God isn’t something I have to dress up for. There’s no price tag or performance required to be in divine connection. If God is love, then love is what I should feel when I show up—however I show up. As long as I’m showing up in truth, in peace, and with an open heart… that’s enough.

And now? I’ve reached a place where I won’t stay silent about what I need or who I am. I’m no longer waiting for permission to evolve. I’m claiming what’s mine. And I hope you do too.

Yes, so much of adulthood is healing from what we weren’t given in childhood. But let’s not stay stuck there. Let’s also use this time to honor how far we’ve come. Let’s celebrate the strength it took to get here, even if we’re still limping through it.

This year alone, I’ve seen, heard, and lost more than I expected. But still, I choose life. I choose joy. I choose me. Because we’re not promised tomorrow—not even the next hour. I have no regrets, only requests to the Source: let me feel, love, heal, and fulfill everything I came here to do.

When people who truly knew me remember me, I hope they say:

“She never gave up. She figured it out. She made something out of everything.”

Because that’s the truth. Nothing grows without intention. The inside has to ripen first. And that’s what this season is about—ripening my temple, strengthening my core, and growing every leaf I possibly can.

And if you ever feel like you can’t go on, hear me when I say:

Get up, you son of a bitch. I didn’t hear no bell. 🥊

The universe is still holding you. And sometimes, that’s all you need to remember.

I forgive myself for not seeing my full potential sooner.

I forgive those who doubted me, used me, or silently rooted against me.

Because now I know—even envy is a twisted form of admiration. That’s love, too.

A wounded kind. But still love.

So next time you sense something off in someone you thought you knew, remember:

Mirrors don’t lie.

If something’s triggering you, it might just be reflecting something unhealed within.

Be the mirror you want to look into. Clean it often. Reflect light.

Let the rest blow away like wind against your face—free, unbothered, present.

Not consumed by what tomorrow might bring… but fully anchored in today.

Because today matters. Today is real.

Time is a human system. The universe doesn’t measure in clocks—it moves by frequency, energy, and alignment. And when you’re truly aligned, you’ll always recognize that light when it looks back at you.

So…

What happens to the pain we hide?

Eventually, it finds its way into every mirror.

When it does—clean your mirror.

And keep going.

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